I grew up hearing “It is better to give than to receive.”  Wanting was frowned upon and was usually followed by “just be happy with what you have.”  …or the equally lovely “don’t be selfish, think of other people.”  This did wonders to develop my already inherited co-dependency and did not favor the receiving process in my life.

Fast forward forty plus years as I approach my 53^rd birthday next month and I still deal with the messages that receiving is selfish.  I even have a tinge of guilt writing about this. This is how deep this goes for me.

A few years back I learned how to ask for what I wanted. That was not an easy lesson for me. I would preface my want with “if you have the time”…or…”if you don’t mind”…or…”if it’s not a hastle.” It was so hard to just directly ask for what I want.  That doesn’t mean that they have to give it to me, it just means that I am willing to love myself enough and to know that I am worth what I am asking for and I am willing to put it out there to the universe.  When I get clarity and ask for what I want then I prepare myself to receive.

I give multiple blessings every day to people. I have formed groups for the sole purpose to bless each other on a regular basis.  What I have found is that when I bless others, I bless myself in the process. I have done a lot of emotional work with men and have found that one of the hardest things for men to do is to hear wonderful, beautiful blessings about themselves. …..I call that our gold.  The paradox of receiving this gold is that I want so much to be blessed and yet when someone blesses me, it is so hard for me to let it in…….to receive it. I know that at my core it is about me being good enough to receive love and so I am teaching myself to stop, breathe it in(thanks Denver), and say thank you.  I am good enough and I love being selfish……so there……I said it.......and I believe it this time.......thank you.