Letting Go
As I walked through the Commons today at TCU, my eyes filled with tears and my heart was heavy with sadness. All I could think about was, this just doesn’t get any easier. Thirty minutes earlier I had said goodbye to my oldest daughter Madison, who is now a TCU graduate, working, and living in Fort Worth with her boyfriend Andy. And three minutes earlier, I had just said goodbye to my youngest daughter Kelsey as she embarks upon her sophomore year at TCU.
I just doesn’t get any easier. I remember the first time I said good bye to Madison 5 years ago as she entered her freshman year and I never thought I could make it home. Just as my girlfriend, Marie-Pierre wrote in her blog, I had just experienced my first empty nest and all the duties as a father had ceased to exist in an instant. Well, at that time it seemed that way, but at least Kelsey was there so I had one child to go home to. Now both girls are gone. Yes, I went through this last year and I told myself that that was the hardest part, a real empty nest. What I didn’t count on was as my girls got older, we became better and better friends.
So I am letting go not only of my daughters, but of two of the best friends that I have in this world. I know in my head they are not going anywhere and they are only a 4 hour drive away and yet this time is different. They are growing up and I am growing up. I am stepping into a whole different part of my life and the one constant was I was Daddy. Now I am Dad and we are friends and getting to know each other as adults. This is very cool and I am not ready for this.....well OK, I am ready for this. Did I mention that this doesn’t get any easier…. ..OK, OK…..so I am letting go of being a father to two young girls and welcoming being a father to two beautiful adults. I am also letting go of my fear that I will not know how to father adult women and welcoming in the part of me that has always risen to the occasion of being the “World’s Best Dad”.
p.s……..I know I will always be Daddy too ;)…thanks Madison and Kelsey, I love you.
Stanhope Cutherell
2 Comments
Reader Comments (2)
A beautiful piece by a beautiful man!
Hi Stan,
I love this story that you wrote. I felt the tears in my eyes as I read it - Tomorrow I'm taking our youngest daughter to high school orientation. And it's really beginning to dawn on my how much she has grown, and that in four years she, too, will be leaving our nest. It's a bitter sweet moment, for sure.
Blessings to you, and your girls, and to Marie-Pierre,
Todd