I have spent the better part of the last 20 years looking for tools to explain human behavior.  Over the years, I researched and became certified in 3 major personality instruments and have studied many other theories, archetypes, and models.  It amazes me when I can sit with someone and they can look at my physical body (or parts of it) and can get the same information.

What I have learned about human behavior is that we trust machine more sometimes than we do our own intuition and we are the ones that built these machines.  I have been with healers who can run their hands over me and tell me more about myself than any diagnostic tool available. When I share this with some people they find that hard to believe yet if I sit them in front of a machine and the machine states the same thing, they believe it…..amazing.

In the last few years I have been studying  a form of iridology(study of the human eye).  Originally iridology determined physical characteristics and has been used for years.  In the early 1970’s, Denny Johnson developed the Rayid Eye interpretation system that took iridology and related it to emotional and personality identification.  He has done extensive work with birthing order and how it ties in with eye patterns also.  His work is amazingly accurate and has it’s roots in Jungian archetypal philosophy.

I am working with my friend Jimmy who is a Doctor of Chinese Medicine and Acupuncturist in determining how we can use the Rayid Model in our respective professions.  As always, both Jimmy and I are our own lab subjects before we work with our clients.  My work with the Rayid system has already been life changing.

On my journey, I have done considerable emotional and spiritual work.  This work is changing me at levels I have not allowed myself to change to date.  Last week I had a discussion with my father that I have not been able to have with him EVER and was able to set some boundaries and love him as an adult as well as a father. 

I have always heard that the eyes are the window to the soul and I have just found my window and I will let you know what I see.

It amazes me how certain lyrics get stuck in my head for years.  I can distinctly remember seeing my first Sammy Hagar MTV video called “I Can’t Drive….55”.  I loved the song and the video and I loved the image of Sammy being in a red Ferrari stuck behind a truck that he cannot pass while singing…. “I can’t drive….55”.  Fast forward about 30 or so years.

This week I turned 55 years old and for some reason that song has been playing in my head for weeks.  I knew when my birthday came I would have to write about it……I just wasn’t clear about what it meant for me.  I am not a fast driver and I surely don’t have a Ferrari…..yet.  What I can relate to is being stuck sometimes and really wanting to move forward. 

All indications point to a big change happing this year for me.  My horoscope for a while has been talking about entering into a different phase of my life that I have been holding onto for a number of years.  The frustrating part is that I am the one doing the holding AND I am the one who wants the change.  What I tweeted today was “Change is the perfect paradox” and I really believe that.  I find myself in this place a lot these days and I know when I do, I am changing in a big way.

So I realize birthdays are just another day in my journey and they are also markers.  I think that is what 2012 is also about in a lot of ways.  It is a marker to all of us that this is an auspicious time to move forward, to evolve, and to grow. This time is all about creating new beginnings and shedding what no longer serves me and embracing the next chapter in my life.

So far what I have found to be true for me in 2012 is that change is my only constant, fear is my teacher, and love can heal when I make that choice.  “The love you make is equal to the love you take”….lyrics.

Feedback was considered a negative thing in the music world until Jimi Hendrix came along.  When Jimi was recording with the BBC in London, he would turn his amplifiers up all the way and create feedback from his amp.  The recording engineers were frustrated and told Jimi “We cannot get that feedback out of your sound, you will have to turn your amp down.”  Jimi’s reply was “that is exactly the sound I have been going after, just record it.”……….the rest is history.

My life is a parallel between human behavior and music.  Feedback out of control can be quite annoying but some nice feedback at the right times can enhance the music exponentially.  I find this true in my life also.  When my daughter Kelsey asks for “advice” I tell her, “I don’t give advice although I have some feedback if you would like.”  Seems like semantics, yet it is not.

Feedback is just like it sounds, I am feeding back to the person I am listening to what I heard so I can get clarity on what they are saying.  It also gives them the gift of being heard…… a small yet powerful gift.  Feedback in relationships can get out of control just like in music.  Sometimes I use the term feedback as a thinly veiled attempt to fix someone.  They know it and I know it.

What I have found lately is that the hardest feedback I hear is from me.  I can be so hard on myself and the feedback I give myself can be so critical at times.  I am working on changing that.  I have a choice everyday to give myself all kinds of feedback and what I am choosing is to make that feedback nurturing, compassionate, and kind. 

Interestingly enough, the kinder I am to myself, the kinder I am to others, and the kinder they are to me.  It amazes me how simple life can be when I stay in my heart.  I wonder what feedback Jimi was looking for.

Sometimes my biggest gifts come in the smallest packages…….meet my buddy Colten.  Colten is the grandson of my friend (and bass player in my band, The Rafters) David Petry.  I met Colten a few years ago and he has been a gift to me in so many ways, the biggest is how he sees the world.

Colten is 7 years old and has cerebral palsy, yet you would never know that by his attitude.  He loves life, horses, music, his grandfather and most of all he LOVES The Rafters.  He has memorized all of our songs and even has his favorites.  Colten loves to sing and he sings with more passion than anyone I have seen.  He has never met a microphone that he doesn’t like.  He will sing you his favorite song in a heartbeat and LOVES to sing with grandfather. To see them sing together is a true heartwarming experience.

This past week I had a session with Kay Vogel who is a colorpuncturist, coach, and gifted healer.  She was running a test for me on her GDV machine that measures physical as well as emotional status.  Physically I was great and emotionally I had some real issues.  Long story short my work is to do the things in life that make me happy….. that even showed up in my horoscope this year.  My first reaction was to minimize this feedback because it would not be the responsible thing to do.  If the advise was to focus more on my coaching, or work on my relationship with my father I would not have blinked and eye…..just done it……but do the things in life that make me happy……I was already feeling the guilt.

What does this have to do with Colten?  Everything.   Everyday he wakes up and does what makes him happy.  He sings everyday and could care less if it’s in tune because he is happy.  He grabs the mic when David sets up his DJ setup and asks everyone if they are having fun……because he is.  When our band plays he dances right in front of us and sings every song word for word and could care less who is watching or what they are saying….because he is having a BLAST.

So Colten asked, now that he has his new guitar, if he could become a member of the Rafters and we are going to make him a member….because that makes ME happy.  Thank you Colten.

Give peace a chance is an interesting idea coming from the basketball player who was one of the main combatants in the worst athlete-fan brawl in NBA history.  It is not easy to see this man as a 6’7”, 260 lb Gandhi…..this man is formerly known as Ron Artest.

Ron Artest legally changed his name this year to Metta World Peace.  Metta, a Buddhist word meaning “loving kindness” and world peace speaks for itself.  Part of his thinking was that people might be positively affected by using the term “world peace”. How many times do you think you hear “world peace” at a Lakers game now?….. I think it was a stroke of genius.

I firmly believe that our words carry a certain energy and it has been proven by Dr. Masaru Emoto that when he placed certain words on petry dishes filled with water and later took microscopic pictures of the water crystals, they reflected the energy of the words on the dish.  In other words, when he placed “hate” on a dish the crystal was malformed and nasty looking while the dish that had “love” or “peace” on it, the crystal was beautifully symmetric and looked as if it came from a Hallmark card.

So if this holds true, and a celebrity such as World Peace puts those two words out there multiple times a day, maybe just maybe, it can make a difference.  I am not suggesting that we all change our names to “world peace” or “love” or “compassion” , although it could be a very interesting proposition.  What I am suggesting is for us all to look at what words we use and how we use them.  When I read about this name change it really hit me to take a hard look at my language.

It could be easily dismissed as just “semantics” yet I feel there is more to it than that.  I know I get lazy with my words sometimes and make comments or use phrases that do not match up with how I want to live my life.  On the other hand, you might find a few surprises, like I have with my name……Stanhope.  So do you think my journey has to do something with hope?

So what would your name be if your could rename yourself with your mission?…….that is an idea that it is easy for me to be at peace with.